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Be Done With Stress

Most of us know this feeling…. Like we’re in a rush all the time, we need to get somewhere, need to do something, no ten things… no a hundred things. How are we ever going to get through it all today? I can feel it now, just talking about it…. Tightness of breath, like there’s not enough time, not enough me to go around…. Not enough energy to attend to everything…. You know this feeling well…. STRESS.

We live in a busy world… it’s a fact. When companies have let go of staff and the work remains the same, there’s less of us to get it all done. So how do we cope? How do we get to a place where we feel we’ve done everything we can each day to feel good, to feel happy, calm, fulfilled, relaxed?

Two years ago, there I was, working away, frantically trying to finish everything I could before 6 pm. My team sat around me joking and relaxing, telling me to go home, saying we’ve done all we can for now. I said “if you’re not working, then you go home. I need to finish this or I can’t rest.” It was 6 pm on Christmas Eve. They looked at me like I was crazy. I looked up at them and thought…. “Sigh… I need a stronger team. I can’t deal with a lazy work ethic”. I smiled and said, “no worries, guys. Thanks for all your hard work. Have a wonderful Christmas and a beautiful vacation”. That was the beginning of a downward spiral… I just didn’t know it yet.

By the time we got back from vacation in the New Year, it was full speed ahead. I worked myself hard and I worked my team hard, until one day they refused to go at my speed. The race was too intense. I was more and more exhausted each day and becoming short tempered. Then it happened… my team revolted. They just stopped performing. Stopped reporting progress. Stopped caring. Just. Stopped. And so did everything. I had always been great at building strong teams with commitment and dedication, but also pride and satisfaction in working together and now… here was my team, walking away. From the work? No… walking away from me. I was dumbfounded. I took some time to reflect and understand what happened. I walked to get a coffee and noticed how fast I was breathing, how fast I was walking, as though the world was ending in the next minute and I was sprinting… ALL THE TIME. That’s just not sustainable. I noticed how utterly exhausted I was. Right then, the project took a turn and was postponed for a short time. I sat down in my office and noticed all the tension in my body. I asked myself why was I going so fast? Breathing so quickly? As though subconsciously I wasn’t even taking the time to breathe fully, because I didn’t believe I had the time. Let’s just process that for a moment – I DIDN’T HAVE THE TIME TO BREATHE… Life giving, life sustaining oxygen… barely reaching my lungs… slowing shutting everything down. It was then I realized I needed a break. I immediately made a request for time off and took a holiday.

Relief. And then dismay. Now I had to figure things out. Where would I start? I was wired this way. I was wired to be a high performer. Where do I begin to change these unhealthy patterns? How would I find a way to be productive, get it all done, look after my work, my family, my friends, my bills and also regain my sense of well-being, my health, my inner peace…. And then a bigger question – how would I continue to do all I needed and be relaxed, at peace?

Now, I must tell you… I was raised with meditation as a regular practice, but even when I engaged in it, I could never quiet my mind… those busy little thoughts and voices, telling me about all the things I needed to do. So I started reading about Happiness, positive psychology and the secrets of successful people. Guess what they all had in common? Yup… meditation – in whatever form that takes – connecting with nature, connecting with your breath like with yoga or tai chi, or simply just taking the time to be still. Then I read a book by Eckhart Tolle, called Stillness Speaks, which said: when we “connect to the Stillness within, we move beyond our active minds and emotions and discover great depths of lasting peace, contentment and serenity. But how to get there when I couldn’t slow down my thoughts? And then I read “Look at a tree, a flower, a plant. Let your awareness rest upon it. How still they are, how deeply rooted in Being. Allow nature to teach you stillness.” And I finally got it. That elusive feeling of going beyond thought… to be completely present, to be utterly still. And then I noticed something… my shoulders dropped, my breathing got calmer, deeper…. I was immediately more relaxed.

And so began my real journey with meditation… each morning I woke up and sat, while I sipped my coffee in silence. Some days, I got to 5 or 10 minutes. Other days I made it to 15 minutes. Now I force myself to sit for 20 minutes a day. I take some time to be quiet and still. I also take time to contemplate how all areas of my life are progressing. Finally, I take time to set my intention for the day. How do I want to feel? Calm, happy, energized, like everything comes together easily in each moment. It is the single most powerful thing I ever did to bring me inner peace, happiness, contentment and calm. It brought me back to myself again. It brought me back to life again. And then I noticed another thing. I was happy.

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RONDA ENGELHARDT

Ronda is a Peak Performance Coach focusing on Life Coaching and the Mental Wellbeing of Athletes in her practice. She is also contracted through a large Division 1 University program to work with their athletes as a mental coach. She specializes in fear, pressure, adversity, uncertainty, removing obstacles, anxiety, doubt, recovering from injuries or setbacks, and identity beyond a sport or a role. She provides a proactive approach to the mental health of athletes and teams on wellbeing and the mental side of the game. Ronda is also an accomplished athlete herself and spent five seasons as a head coach for a Professional Women’s Hockey team in the Premier Hockey Federation, and is a scout for the Nashville Predators of the NHL.

Ronda’s education includes undergraduate studies in Psychology, a Masters in School Counseling and post graduate certifications in Applied Positive Psychology, The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ, and is certified as an Applied Positive Psychology coach, specializing in Leadership, Mentoring and Coaching, Teamwork and Collaboration. While Ronda has specialized in the athletic mindset, she is passionate about helping any person wanting to uncover what is possible and learn to use their mind as an asset for reaching their full potential.

SYLVIA HALLIGAN

Sylvia Halligan is a mind-body mental agility and change management coach. She helps organizations successfully lead and navigate change, make it stick, and empower individuals to transform into flourishing, thriving beings. Her personal coaching practice incorporates a blend of eastern philosophy practices backed by western science. Interventions include guided visualization, hypnosis, breath work, embodiment, energy psychology, positive psychology, and neuroscience.

Sylvia is a Yoga Alliance Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT), holds certifications in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) and Applied Positive Psychology Coaching (CAPP), and is an ICF credentialed Associate Certified Coach (ACC). She is also a Prosci-Certified Change Management Practitioner and certified in The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ. Specialties: Leading organizations through change and making it stick. Guiding individual change journeys through holistic mind-body coaching. Teaching people to thrive, not just survive.

ANJALI IYENGAR

Anjali is a Holistic Health & Positive Psychology Pracitioner. As a naturally intuitive, compassionate, and deeply empathetic coach, Anjali creates an environment for her clients that allows them to truly understand the connection of how the mind and body coexist and relate to one another. Assisting clients in understanding the mind & body connection, how blocked emotions can reappear in emotional patterning or physical alignments in the body, and aids in healing through the use of various techniques, including The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ.

Anjali holds degrees in Communications and an MBA, along with post graduate degrees and certifications in Applied Positive Psychology, Integrative Holistic Health Coaching and Breathwork.ᵀᴹ

MARJOLEIN VAN DER KRUK

Marjolein is a trainer, facilitator and coach, specializing in Emotional Intelligence and Leadership. In her individual coaching practice, Marjolein works with people to educate and empower them with the tools from Positive Psychology, Self Compassion and Emotional Intelligence. Her work with corporations includes embedding innovative, human-centric mindset coaching, training and facilitation. She’s a Senior Leadership Facilitator for THNK, The School of Creative Leadership in Amsterdam, Netherlands where she develops global leaders in international corporations to unlock their full potential in leading themselves, and others, for greater impact.

Marjolein holds certifications in Emotional Intelligence and Leadership, Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) and is an Applied Positive Psychology coach. She is also trained in Self Compassion, through the thought leader in this space, Kristen Neff, and is certified in The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ. Marjolein holds a Masters degree in Biomedical Sciences and Post Graduate degrees in Management and Positive Psychology.