Filling The Void. 6 Steps To Bouncing Back From A Toxic Relationship


Letting go of someone you care about — or have shared precious experiences with —  is one of the most difficult situations many of us face.

Deep in your heart, you know it’s time to go.  You know the relationship is harming you. So why is it so hard to walk away?

Often, it’s a fear of being alone that keeps us trapped – even in a situation that may have become abusive.  Note, this can apply to relationships of all kinds — from those with friends, family and co-workers to, of course, relationships with spouses and romantic partners.

If the above sounds like you, it’s time to take action when:

** You continuously feel depleted and drained.  The relationship has become all take and no give.  

** You finally recognize things aren’t getting any better, despite your best efforts to set boundaries and ask for what you need.  

** You finally accept that the other person is not going to change.


** You realize you DESERVE BETTER.  

Accept that letting go WILL HURT.  But you’re worth it!  Keep reminding yourself that it’s not worth staying stuck in a situation that’s more than likely to get even worse.

Photo: Roberto Nickson, Unsplash.

Once you’ve made the decision to walk away, changing a routine or activities you may have shared with another person for months or even years can be challenging.

Here are six ways to fill the void:

** Nourish your soul with a new activity.  This is a great time to try something new.  But be gentle with yourself. Take a yoga or meditation class, experiment with a new hobby like painting or floristry, or sign up for local volunteer work.

** Treat yourself.  For as long as you need to, avoid over-scheduling yourself and instead consciously make time for self-care activities like spending time in nature, long baths, massages, acupuncture or reiki sessions, spa appointments or visits to the movies.

** Sleep.  The grief and emotional release caused by a breakup can be both physically and mentally exhausting.  Make sure you’re prioritizing sleep – and get plenty of it.

** Journal.  End every day by “letting it all out” in writing.  Then, make a list of what went right. What were you grateful for today?

** Get a change of scene.  Book a weekend getaway to a new city or a simple day trip to a local beach, forest or national park.  Just be sure to make your destination somewhere NEW.

** Call in your support squad!  Reconnect, laugh and cry with trusted friends who love and accept you and care about your future wellbeing.

Finally, remind yourself that happiness begins and ends with you.  You CAN reclaim control of your emotional wellbeing, once you understand that happiness is indeed an inside job.  Once you make this important shift you will bounce back with a renewed self-esteem and confidence, ready to welcome new relationships into your life.  New relationships founded on mutual respect and shared values.

For now, give yourself time and a big hug for making a courageous decision.  You’re worth it.